


Breakfast at Takaya's

by Mendelynn



Series: Umino blood [2]
Category: Naruto, Narutoverse - Fandom
Genre: All sorts of kinks, Best Friends Kissing, Breeding Kink, Crack, Cuckolding, Cum Fetish, Dialogue without Plot, Hotdogging, Humor, Impregnantion Kink, Iruka is embarrassed, Katoptroniphilia, Lactation Kink, M/M, Male Lactation, Nasolingus, Nearly no action, Pet Play, Post Mpreg, Pregnancy Kink, Pygophilia, Side Story, They only talk about it, Tricophilia, Umino Blood, Urophilia, Yiaourtiphilia, breath play, gagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-26 01:18:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19757638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mendelynn/pseuds/Mendelynn
Summary: A little side story to my KakaIru fic "Umino blood" // Iruka took care of Kaito-chan for the night and brought him back to his parents. He's invited for breakfast. Awkwardness and embarrassment ensue...





	Breakfast at Takaya's

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya!  
> This is just a little side story to Umino blood (which you find here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19026268/chapters/45186106).  
> It popped into my head because two friends of mine and I talked about kinks and weird things that people do in their bedroom (just the usual university talk, you know). And I had an idea and started wondering what went on in Takaya's bedroom. We all know him to be very open about things and the idea of Iruka getting embarrassed by waaaaaay too much information (and to be scarred for life after) didn't leave me alone. So there it is.  
> I researched a few interesting sexual tendencies. We have got:  
> Pet Play (one partner dresses up and acts like a pet)  
> Pygophilia (arousal to bums)  
> Nasolingus (arousal to sucking a person's nose)  
> Cum Fetish (arousal to the feeling of come on one's skin)  
> Urophilia (arousal to being peed on)  
> Cuckolding (arousal to watching your partner in sexual activities with other people)  
> Tricophilia (arousal to hair)  
> Breeding kink/Impregnation Kink (arousal to the idea of being impregnanted for the sake of breeding)  
> Preganncy Kink (arousal to a pregnant person)  
> Lactation Kink (arousal to lactation)  
> Hotdogging (rubbing ones cock between someone's butt cheeks)  
> Breath Play (choking someone for sexual arousal)  
> Gagging (arousal to gagging on a partner's cock/to the partner gagging around one's cock)  
> Katoptroniphilia (arousal to haing sex in front of mirrors)  
> And my personal favourite: Yiaourtiphilia (arousal to yoghurt)  
> Roughly in that order.  
> This is just a piece of stupidity, with a slight educational undertone (you learn about kinks). :D  
> Have fun!

Iruka didn’t even bother to knock anymore. They knew he was coming anyway. Kaito squirmed in his arms and quacked quietly, he seemed to sense that he was going home. Iruka had taken the baby for a day to let the two young parents have some time alone.

Maybe he should have knocked, he thought, when he opened the door, but the house was quiet. They were probably still asleep, it was quite early. But Kaito-chan had been sniffling and squirming in Iruka’s bed and Iruka didn’t have any milk left to feed him. So he had to bring him back for Takaya to calm and feed him, even though it was earlier than he had actually planned .

When he entered the living room to put Kaito-chan into his day crib, he froze where he stood at the sight before him. Takaya lay on the carpet wearing nothing more than a plain white thong and a bra. He writhed in the rays of sunlight trickling in from the window like a cat. Like a cat with… he was wearing cat ears and a long brown tail and… they looked very real. The tail flicked, the ears turned into his direction, Takaya sat up a bit to look at him. “Nya!” There was… whiskers in his face, his eyes were… his teeth showed in a dirty grin, they were pointed like…

“S…sorry for intruding but Kaito…” Iruka had to swallow; he felt his face go full tomato instantly.

“Nya!” Takaya stretched out his hands to receive his baby. He pushed down his bra and the baby started suckling happily.

“Since when do you wear bras?,” Iruka choked.

“Since the milk started leaking. Nya!” Takaya grinned. “Good morning, Iruka.”

“Good m…”

The door opened again and Kuro came in with a little bowl full of milk. “I’ve got a treat for my little kitten… oh, hi there, Iruka.”

Iruka looked over to him which… turned out to be a huge mistake. Kuro was… not wearing anything. If Iruka hadn’t been blushing furiously already… Takaya passed the baby over to Kuro, who burped him, and bent down to lap up his milk. With his tongue. Like a cat. And he gave Iruka a dirty look with his cat eyes.

“Why does he look like a cat?,” Iruka asked Kuro before he could stop himself.

“Ah, that’s a genjutsu he invented for me. It makes us believe he’s got cat parts. Isn’t he adorable?” Kuro beamed at Iruka who tried his best to only look at his face.

“I guess… I… I… should go, I’m sorry, I didn’t…,” he stammered.

“Aww, don’t worry,” Takaya interrupted him. “It’s still early. Stay for breakfast. Nya!” He looked at Kuro who nodded.

“Good idea. I’m gonna make myself decent and… I’ll call you when it’s ready.” He carefully laid down Kaito-chan in his crib and left, his taut buttocks in plain sight.

“Awww… I love his ass,” Takaya sighed, “It’s the part of him that I love most. Right after his cock and before his nose. I loooove sucking his nose.” He continued lapping up his milk.

Iruka wasn’t sure if his legs would hold him any longer and he sat down on the carpet, his legs crossed. “So you’re lapping up milk… like a cat…,” he murmured more to himself.

“Pet Play,” Takaya shrugged, “It’s fun. You should try it with your Kakashi-dude one day. I’ll show you the jutsu. You’d make a fine cat.” He finished his milk and licked his lips. “And you can be lucky that I’m only lapping up _milk_ this morning. Last night I…” He flashed Iruka a dirty grin with his distractingly sharp teeth and rolled on his back to get the sun to warm his belly.

Iruka was puzzled. Takaya had complained many times how much he hated the taste of cum. His friend seemed to notice his confusion. “Iruka-chan,” he smiled. “You’re so adorable. I love the feel of cum anywhere on my body,” he stroked his belly which, now that Iruka really looked at it was covered by a whiteish crust, “Except in my mouth. It wasn’t his cum I was lapping up…” he gave him a knowing look. Iruka didn’t want to think about, it he didn’t want guess what… brain stop whirring… “…his pee,” Takaya whispered, smacked his lips, rolled back onto his belly. “I highly recommend it. There’s nothing like a nice, warm golden shower.” He got up on all fours and made his way over to Iruka who didn’t know what to do, where to… Takaya reminded way too much of a cat in heat… his ears and tail vanished, he sat down in Iruka’s lap and… their lips pressed together. Iruka was kissing him back before the information had successfully reached his brain. He wanted to stop, he wanted to get away… Takaya was too good of a kisser; he couldn’t help but drown in his smaller friends embrace. It had been so long since he… and he’d never…

He lost track of time but suddenly Takaya stopped and looked up at something behind him. It did take Iruka a few moments before his brain started working again and he, again, flushed furiously. He had kissed his… best… friend. It had felt good but it was just sooo wrong…

“How long have you been standing there, you cuckold?,” Takaya grinned. Iruka turned around. Kuro stood behind them, leaning against the door frame, with quite a considerable tent in his pants.

“A while…” Kuro scratched his head. “Damn, it’s hot to see two Uminos making out… are you sure you’re not up to a threesome, Iruka-kun?”

“Kuro be nice. He’s in love with someone else, you know that.”

“So why’re allowed to kiss him?”

“That’s different. We’re best friends and… oh, I did steal your first kiss with a man, didn’t I?”

Iruka blushed, got up and straightened his ponytail. The first time he had kissed a man… well, at least it had been nice.

Takaya got up as well. “You’re quite good but you could need some more finesse in your technique. I can help you train, if you want…”

“No thanks” Iruka coughed and slowly died of embarrassment.

“Yeah. Right…,” Kuro nodded more to himself, “Breakfast is ready. Kaito-chan is fast asleep, so I think we can leave him in here for the time being…”

Takaya took a look at the adorable little shock of black hair and nodded. “Thank you for taking care of him, Iruka,” he smiled, “It gave us the opportunity to establish our proper love life again, now, that the belly is out of the way.” Kuro just nodded and Iruka sighed internally. He wanted nothing more than to leave this incredibly embarrassing atmosphere behind but it would be impolite to refuse the invitation and he was actually quite hungry.

They sat down in the kitchen, Iruka on one side of the table, Kuro on the other, Takaya in his lap. He snuggled up to the taller man who started stroking his long hair with one hand while the other started to feed steamed rice to him. Takaya greedily swallowed it and smiled up to his boyfriend lovingly. “I know you love my hair.” He took the chopsticks out of Kuro’s hand and fed him a piece of fish. “Keep it down or I’m gonna put it up in a bun. We’ve got a visitor.” Kuro grumbled and buried his nose in the fine brown streaks.

“He’s got a kink for hair,” he explained to Iruka, “One of the reasons why I don’t cut it. There’s nothing that gets him interested more quickly than when I let my hair down.”

Iruka nodded and choked on his vegetables. These were things he didn’t want to know.

“Still better than your love for cum.” Kuro had captured the chopsticks once again and fed Takaya a bit of Nori and rice. “I can only produce that much.”

“And I loooove your stamina” Takaya chuckled, his mouth still full. “You did spray it all over me, and inside… you might have gotten me pregnant again already.”

“You gave birth two months ago. It’s highly improbable that you will get knocked up while you’re lactating.” He stroked Takaya’s swollen pecs.

“Highly improbable doesn’t mean impossible,” the smaller man grumbled. Kuro looked accusingly at Iruka.

“Do you see what he puts me through? In a few years, this house will be swarming with little brats and I can’t do much to stop it. I give you one advice: never get yourself a partner with a breeding kink…” He shook his head and turned his attention to the miso soup.

Takaya sighed. “Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy my body rounding and swelling with your child! And you LOVE the fact that I’m lactating!!! This milk isn’t for you; it’s for Kaito-chan! I will not have you starve our child!”

“As if you didn’t have enough for both of us…,” Kuro grumbled. “And that’s still better than you and your love for yoghurt.” His eyes fell on Iruka again who was just sitting there, trying to concentrate on his food. “He gets aroused when I smear yoghurt on him. And then he makes me lick it off. I don’t even like yoghurt.”

“Oh, tell me you don’t love the sight of me writhing under the touch your tongue. I know, your eyes are always darting at the mirrors when you do that!” Takaya had taken a big bite of the grilled fish just a moment ago and sprayed it all over Kuro’s face as he was talking. “Just as much as you enjoy the sight of me hotdogging your beautiful ass. Or the sight of me being choked, me gagging on your cock...”

On the other side of the table, Iruka choked on his Natto. He coughed and gasped for air.

“Oh, did we overwhelm you?” Takaya looked at him, pitifully but there was not the tiniest bit of guilt in his eyes.

Iruka gulped down a bit of tea and slowly calmed down. “I’m sorry, I just… I never thought I would get such a detailed insight in your love life,” he croaked. He didn’t know if he had wanted to know. That was way too much information that would be stuck with him for the rest of his life.

“Oh, you have no idea, dear,” Takaya purred. “I hope, it’ll give you some inspiration for your time with Kakashi-dude. But if you ever want us to show you something… you can come and watch. Or even participate. Kuro is right, a threesome would be fun.”

Iruka’s smile was strained. “Thanks, but no thanks” Kaito-chan started whimpering in the living room. Takaya jumped up instantly, Kuro went after him, Iruka seized the opportunity to steal himself away from the occasion.

**Author's Note:**

> Umino Iruka and Hatake Kakashi (who is only mentioned) belong to Kishimoto, of course.  
> Umino Takaya and Tachibana Kuro, on the other hand, are MINE!!!!!


End file.
